Always be my baby
by Obvious flirting angel
Summary: How am I going to take care of a baby? I'm only sixteen years old. I work at a fast food restaurant.I make seven dollars an hour.Of course their is always other options. what am i going to do. AJ Swan finds herself in a predicament when she finds that she's pregnant
1. A- Team

**So this is taking place in between twilight and new moon. It's going to mention one of my other OC's Raine but you don't have to read her story to understand this, because its nothing like this one. This is just a test chapter and if i get reviews I'll continue writing it**

Annabella jade Swan lay on her front lawn in the snow, staring at the sky wanting to cry but can't find the nerve to. Crying's not going to get her out of the mess she's in.

Snow was falling in the state of forks, the little puffs fell on me. I like laying in the snow. Rain used to tell me that your guardian angel can see you better in the snow. I really need my guardian angel now.

I need a smoke. Oh yeah I cant do that anymore.

I can't believe the mess I'm in. I place my hand on my stomach feeling sick. I choked down a bit of vomit that gathered in my throat.

Maybe moving to Forks wasn't the best idea. If I had stayed in Arizona this wouldn't have happened.

I used to smile all the time but since I saw those results I haven't smiled once. It's like my worlds crumbling down around me.

I want to scream and yell, but I can't. It's no one's fault but mine. it was the worst mistake of my life. I knew it was wrong but I slept with Paul anyway. And now I'm paying the price.

the voice in my head was telling me not to do it. The voice of my oldest sister Raine,always used to give me advice in before she died earlier this year. She was the closest thing to an angel on earth. I always felt more comfortable talking to Raine then I did Bella. Bella gave me practical advice on things that she had never experienced, While Raine always seemed to know exactly what I was talking about and had genuinely understood were I was coming from. And then she died. She lost her battle against drugs and alcohol and OD'd. The found her body after three days. She ad fallen into a ditch filled with water. They can't tell if she drowned or if the drugs killed her

There was no peace of mind for me. I lost my best friend and I don't even know how. I lost my mind. I started smoking again. Started drinking again. Started having sex again. And then the thing that Raine was afraid would happen if I didn't get myself clean happened. I slept with Paul and

I got pregnant.

I'd showed up at my friend Paul's house one night. I'd cried. I'd screamed. I'd broken things. He'd held me. He let me comforted me. Then It was more than comfort from a friend. He said he'd do anything to make me feel better and I suggested the one thing that I thought would take the pain away other than drugs. Him.

I can't lie and say it didn't make me feel good. better. But now I feel worse than ever.

How am I going to take care of a baby? I'm only sixteen years old. I work at a fast food restaurant.I make seven dollars an hour.

Of course there is always other options.

Adoption? No i cant do that. I can't give a baby to some one else knowing that as soon as I finally manage to get my life together again, It will hunt me down looking for answers.

Abortion? No. I can't find it in myself to kill a baby. That would never sit well in my mind. I'd learned from Raine when she got pregnant and aborted the baby. She was a mess for months.

What am I going to do?

I went to the doctor in Seattle and she told me I am definitely pregnant.

two weeks.

I haven't told anyone, not even Paul yet.

I know I'm going to have to do it soon, but I can't find the strength to tell anyone. especially my parents.

Oh god daddy's going to kill me!

speaking of daddy,His cop car comes around the corner and pulls into the drive way. I don't even look at him as he gets out of the car. "Jay." He says cautiously stepping towards me. "Yeah Daddy." I croak. He grabs may hands and pulls me up. "C'mon baby let's go inside. You're going to catch a cold." I walk in to the house slowly with his arm wrapped around my shoulder.

"Daddy, I'm going upstairs." I walk up stairs, but not to my room. I go up the stairs to the attic we're dad had built Raine's room. Walking into the dark-colored room I jump when I see a figure sitting on the floor crossed legged. The black-haired Cullen girl rushes over and hugs me. "It'll be all right." She person rubs my back reassuringly. I turn to see Rosalie. "I bury my face into Alice's shoulder. we're the same height so it's not that hard. "It's going to be all right." She says again. "how do you know." I wail into her shoulder tears rolling onto her shirt. "Because I do." I squeeze my eyes shut. "Does anyone else know?" Alice shakes her head. "Edwards getting suspicious though." I sit on Raine's bed that's still made the way she left it. "You're going to be a good mom." Rosalie says sitting down next to me. Her and Raine weren't exactly friends. Raine liked Emmett who is Rosalies mate. that cause a bit of problems and hatred between the two.

I sigh. 'I guess I don't have a choice but to be a good parent." I sniffle. "your dads coming." Alice warns. "You need to tell you tell him at any different time it wont turn out good." I take a shaky breathe. He comes up the stairs. "Hey baby, Hey girls." He smiles. but it doesn't reach his eyes. it never reaches his eyes anymore. "AJ has to tell you something."Alice blurts knowing I wasn't going to tell him if she didn't. "what?" His smile quickly turns worried. I breath shakily again. "D-dad-Daddy." I stutter "WAIT! BELLA!" Bella comes up the stairs with a frown. "Whats wrong." Bella only has two facial expressions since Raine passed. Frowning and blank smiles.

"Dad how old are you?" I ask nervously. "41. why?" I give a nervous cheeky smile. "wow that's really lucky. Most people are in their fifties and sixties when they become grandparents Bells whats for dinner." I say the sentence quickly. at first da didn't get it. "OK I guess WHAT!" He screams. Bella's eyes widen. "I MADE STEAK AND POTATOES!" She says hoping dads favorite food would calm him down. It didn't. "I can't even look at you now." He says shaking his head before leaving.

Well fuck

**xoxo**


	2. Just give me a reason

Its been four days and dad still isn't talking to me, But I got bigger fish to fry. Bigger and angrier fish.

I have to tell Paul.

I walk down the streets of La Push to the eighteen year olds house. He'd moved out of his mom's house at sixteen. She passed lat year and he never knew his father, so he lived alone.

I'd had a crush on him since we were little kids. overtime we'd visit dad i'd play with Paul. He'd stolen my heart at the young age of four, but after having to sit through girlfriend after girlfriend I settled for being just friends.**  
**

He knew about all my issues and he accepted and helped fix them. He saw all the sides of me that weren't all that pretty but he never gave up on me.

I take in a deep breath and raise my hand to knock, but slowly put it down. I sink to the ground with my back to the door.

_ What the hell am i going to do?_

I don't have much time to think about it because the door opens and a shirtless Paul is revealed. I hadn't talked to him since after we had sex but before I found out I was pregnant. He'd started hanging out with Jared and Sam and stopped returning my calls and texts.

"Jay?" He says. His eyes then widen as if he's afraid. "This isn't a good time." He try's to shut the door in my face but I wedge my foot in between the door and the frame.

"Paul...need..to...talk. . .to YOU" I say pushing the door open. "I have to talk to you. "i walk into his small house and cross my arms. "Why have you been avoiding me?" I had searched online how to tell him and I know I've already started out wrong so I ad, "I've missed you, Hows life been."He seems uncomfortable. He wont meet my eyes.

"Fine."

"I have to tell you something." I say twirling my hair.

"What?" His eyes meet mine and they widen.

"Well.. you remember what happened last month right?" He nods even more about that.

"Yeah about that.." He starts but I cut him off.

"I'm pregnant." Being the hot head I know he is I already predicted his option.

"WHAT!" he yells. I flinch.

"Stop yelling!" He begins shaking.

"STAY HERE! i'LL BE BACK!" He runs into the forest behind his house. A few seconds later I hear a howl. Are there wolves in forks? Must've been a dog.

Lord please just give me a reason to be strong again. When rain died so did all my inspiration to do the right thing.**  
**

Paul was my first love and now my baby, his baby, will be my second.

* * *

Paul

_How the hell can she be pregnant? I used a condom right? She's on the pill right?_

_Obviously not idiot. _a voice in my head says. No not a voice in my head.

_Shut up Jared I'm not in the mood._

_Because I'm sure A.J's In an amazing mood. _Sam chimes in.

_I don't need this now! _

_No what you need to do is get your head out off your ass and go talk to her. Not only did you imprint on her but you slept with made this mess now you go fix it! NOW! _sam Barks in the alpha voice.

_fine!_ I shift and grab my basketball shorts, which i had luckily gotten off before I phased.

I walked slowly back to my house and open the back door. Walking into the living room, I see raine sitting on my couch staring at the wall. "Hey." I say. She turns her head towards me.

"You okay?" She's pregnant and she's asking if I'm okay?

"Are you sure." I can't seem to make myself look at her while asking.

"I went to a doctor last week and I went to Dr. Cullen both say i am." I growl thinking about the leech touching my child. _My child! am I already that f'ing protective?_

"Did you just growl?" She says looking at me weird. I ignore her question.

"What are you going to do?" I ask not realizing I sounded like an asshole.

"What the fuck do you mean what am I going to do! This is your kid too!" She explodes. The reason me and AJ. have become friends over the years is she's one of the only reason she can deal with my temper because she has one to match.

"I didn't mean it like that. But you know at the end of the day its your decision." she furrows her brow.

"What decision?" I look at her.

"you're not seriously thinking about keeping it?" She glares at me.

"As opposed to what?" My breath hitches a little.

There not a lot of people who scare me but surprisingly this four-foot nine girl from Arizona scares the crap out of me.

"i just mean, your only sixteen. I work at a crappy auto shop fixing Peoples crappy car for crappy pay and you work at a crappy burger join giving people crappy overpriced burgers for even crappier pay. How are we going to raise a baby?" Her shoulders relax and I realize she had been worried I wouldn't be there for her and the baby. _how can she think so little of me?_

I sit down on the couch beside her and put her under my shoulder. "It's okay. we can do this." A tear leaks from her eye. "What if we can't?" I rub her shoulder. "Hey, stop that.." I wipe the mascara filled tear off of her face. "Give me one good reason we cant take care of this baby." She says nothing. "Exactly."

* * *

later that day

* * *

"Daddy I'm home." I say. The cruisers in the driveway but Bella's big red truck isn't. he turns up the volume on the T.V. and continues to ignore me like he's been doing ever since i told him. "You can't ignore me forever." I say sitting beside him. he stares into the TV and responds, never looking at me.

"I did the best I could to raise you all." His voice is cracked and I noticed that his eyes are red. he's been crying.

"And this is what i get. Raine, my oldest, The One who looked like me and wanted to be a cop, wanted to be just like daddy and was the sweetest thing ever died." A tear ran down my face. We don't talk about Raine. The wound is just to fresh. "overdosed on drugs and alcohol."

"Bella, The smartest most intelligent girl I know, a girl who has more common sense then most adults i know, Is running around chasing after some boy who isn't anywhere near good enough for her. Chasing after a boy who is going to drive her to the grave just like her sister."

"And then there's you. You're sixteen. Pregnant by god knows who." His voice cracks. "But I guess I should look on the bright side. at least you can't keep doing drugs now." He seems to be getting progressively more angry until he explodes.

"God dammit I your sister DIED from drugs and then you're gonna go out there and do drugs to! YOUR SISTER HAD AN ABORTION AT 17! THEN YOU GO AND GET PREGNANT! i DID THE BEST I COULD TO RAISE YOU!i DID ALL I COULD TO DO RIGHT BY YOU THREE AND THIS IS WHAT I GET! YOU TURNED SIXTEEN TWO MONTHS AGO AND THIS IS HOW YOU'RE DECIDING TO CELEBRATE? GETTING PREGNANT? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO THE FATHER IS? HUH? i DID THE BEST I COULD TO RAISE YOU!" I sit there in silence as he screams in my face. He lowers his voice and sinks into the couch. "I-i did the best I could." fat tears roll down his face.

I crawl into his lap like I used to do when I was younger. I wrap my arms around his neck. "Don't cry daddy. I was the one who messed up, Not you.I'm sorry."

He sighs. "N-no baby. don't be sorry. everyone makes mistakes. yours is just going to effect you more than most people." I bury my face in his shoulder.

"I can still stay here right?" I ask terrified that he'll say no and I'll be on the streets.

"I can't think of one reason you can't." I sigh in relief.

"I love you daddy." He hugs me tightly.

"I love you to. Remember, No matter what you'll always be my little girl and I'll always love you."


	3. Crooked Smile

I wake up the next day excited.

The last day of school.

I get up and get dressed in a long form-fitting grey sweater, black tights, and grey ugg boots. _do i feel like curling my hair?_ I contemplate going to the bathroom. I carefully brush my brace covered teeth and put a mask on my face.

_I guess I'll curl it._ i think pulling out my curling wand and getting to work.

When I'm done I add a head band and a black diamond necklace with matching earnings. I come downstairs and see food waiting for me.

"Hey dad," i say sitting at the table.

"Yeah?" He says with a mouth full of food.

"okay one: talking with your mouth open is like tote's disgusting, and two: when can I get my braces off?" I run my tongue across the metal in my mouth.

"Smile." I flash my teeth at him. "How about another month." He suggest and I groan. "You said that last month."

Theirs a knock on the door. "Bye daddy. Bye tink. That's alley cat."**  
**

"Hey, jade." She refers to me by my middle name for some foreclosed reason.

"Hey." Me and Alice are rarely seen with out each other and Rosalie is like the back bone to the group. Like me and Alice can have fun by are selves, But Rosalie really gets the party going.

"we have to take picture, boo." I say getting into the car and closing my umbrella before shutting the car door.

"Cool." Alice agrees.

I lean over the armrest, or what ever that thing in between the passenger's seat and the driver's seat is and press my face against hers. Instead of the stereotypical duck lips or bubble faces we try this thing called _smiling._ Though we did add peace signs.**  
**

"What's the point of going to school on the last day?" I ask as Alice begins driving like fast and the furious."I mean I've already learned everything and took the exams whats the point of coming again?" I complain.

"Call your dad and see if you have to go." She says slowing down to the speed limit. I dial the number and wait.

"Is everything all right pumpkin?" he asks.

"Hey Daddy. I was just wondering if it would be okay for me to not go the school today." I hear deputy Sarnoff in the background talking about the case they'd been working on for a few weeks.

"Um, yeah I guess. Your going to be with Alice right?" Alice is his favorite of the Cullen's and in his eyes she can do no wrong.

"Of course." he agree's and I hang up.

"So where are we going bitch." If anyone else called Alice that they'd get bitch slapped.

"Lets go get Rosie, Jazz, and Em, and go shopping." She squeals.

"How about...We don't do that. Yeah. That thing you suggested, how about we do anything but that." she groans and changes course to the Cullen mansion. I'm the only one who can win an argument with Alice

When we pull into the driveway Rosalie is standing with folded arms,. "Why did you guys have to take so long?" She complains.

"Alice rolls her eyes. "She made me drive the speed limit." She says cutting her eyes at me. Rosalie sighs.

"You should be driving toe speed limit. Especially with little baby Rosie in the car." She try's to rub my stomach but I side step her.

"One do NOT touch me. And two i am not naming my baby after you." she pouts and stomps to the hours followed by me and Alice.

jasper comes down the stairs as soon as Alice comes through the door and wraps a pale arm around her shoulders. "Welcome back darlin'. Hello Anna." Jasper is the only one who can get away with calling me by first name, and I think it's mostly because he's like a walking pain-killer. He smirks.

"You know I've thought," I raise an eyebrow. "If it's a boy you should name him jasper." I groan. "hold on hold on. And if it's a girl, You should call her jazzy." I give him a look.

"How about... no." I walk past the two and into the living room were Emmett is playing halo with Rosalie.

"guys stop suggesting names." Emmett says

"thank you." I say flopping down next to rose.

"If it's a boy she's naming him Emmett and if it's a girl she's naming her Emma." I get up as quickly as i say down.

"I'm going to talk to Carlisle." Rosalie looks up.

"Why?" She seems really concerned.

"because he's not going to annoy me."

I rub my stomach all the way up the stairs. Carlisle said I shouldn't start showing for another two months and I'm so not looking forward to that. I'm not going to lie, I'm very insecure. I've worked hard to get my figure and I don't want to lose it. Before I can get to Carlisle study my phone starts blasting Paul's ringtone.

"Yes?" I walk into the guest room and sit in the little chair in the corner.

"hey, my boss said he doesn't need me to come in today, Do you want to come over?" It's normal for Paul to invite me over when he doesn't have work.

"Yeah I'll be there in thirty minutes." I say before hanging up.

I slide down the banister and jump down at the bottom. "Emmett can I" I start to ask to borrow the jeep.

"wreck it and you'' mysteriously disappear." He says tossing me the keys. Rosalie slaps him on the back of the head. I go to his car parked outside and start it.

Alice stood on the front porch looking frustrated. "Bye babe." I call.

I pull into Paul's drive way to see another car parked. The vanity plate said Jared. I sincerely hope it's not Jared Cameron. I've never met the guy but I've heard plenty.I actually don't think I have a problem with Jared. But I know he doesn't go anywhere without Sam. Who I do have a problem with.

I haven't talked to him in years but he's one of the reasons I didn't like staying in forks. He was a pompous asshole, But half of the people in La-push say he's changes. The other half says he's running a steroid pumping gang.

I open the door and step in to the overly heated house. "Why is it so hot in here?" I complain.

"Sorry princess."Paul says sarcastically turning the AC on.

"Um excuse me but this 'Princess' spends less time on her hair then you do." I take the cookie from his hand and pop it into my mouth. "And you don't need to be eating cookies. Don't want a repeat of fourth and fifth grade do we?" I pat his stomach reminding him of his chubby years.

"I could turn the AC off again you know that right? Oh and by the way," He lifts his shirt and points to his six-pack. "I think I'm good."

i didn't notice the other people in the house until one of them, a brunette girl from the little chair in the corner says. "He's good."

The guy next to her who I faintly recall as Jared looks at her. "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." She smiles and kisses him on the cheek.

"Yours are better." she reassure's. Paul huffs and disappears around the corner.

In the other chair sat Sam Uley with a girl cuddled into his lap. _what is that. _I stare at her nose intently.

"its rude to stare!" Sam barks at me. I raise my hands in surrender.

"Sorry I was just going to ask your..." I look and see a ring on her finger. "fiancé, if" He cuts me off.

"If she's always had those scars? No!" I hadn't even noticed the three long scars on her face until he pointed them out.

"Actually, I was going to ask if she needs a Kleenex or something.I don't really care about the scars." i walk out to his suspicious looks and into the kitchen were Paul is rummaging through the refrigerator.

"I need to go shopping again." He mutters to himself.

"Didn't you go shopping yesterday." he turns to look at me.

"Yeah I just"

"What are you?" He gets an obviously faux bemused expression.

"What are you"

"I'm talking about the fact that you and your boys aren't human. so what are you?"

His eyes widen. "S-Sam! Get in here!" An annoyed Sam comes around the corner.

"I know. I heard the entire conversation. You tell her." Paul shakes his head.

"can't you tell her?" I cross my arms.

"If somebody doesn't tell me whats going on, I'm going to kill all you. That includes you Jared!"

"What did I do?" I ignore him. Neither made a move to tell me.

"You're to tan to be a vampire, so I'm going to go with zombie."They both narrowed their eyes at the word vampire. Paul growled. _wait...growled?_ I

Growling

Shaking

Howling

Overly heated

Immense appetite

Basically dog characteristics. But wait. They hate vampires.

Dogs that hate vampires?

"Werewolf's." I blurt out. They both look shocked. "You're werewolf's." I repeat extremely proud of myself. "I'm right aren't I."

Paul looks so shocked. "how did you" I'm not as stupid as you." I say with a shrug. I grab a family pack of Doritos's and walk back into the living room.

Sams girlfriend is still sleeping, while Jared and his are making out. Paul walks in and sits next to me pulling me into his lap.I always sit in his lap so it's not a surprise. His bare chest is like smoldering hot though. I take the remote out of his hand and start flipping through channels on his small fuzzy t.v. I turn to FX and see the opening scene of the avengers.

I put down the remote and snuggle into Paul's chest for warmth. "Paul." I murmur. "Yeah." he responds. "why aren't you wearing a shirt." He smiles. "It's complicated


	4. Two months pregnant

_beginning of July_

"Paul!" I call walking into his small home. He rushes to me and puts his arm around my shoulder, leading me to the couch. "I can walk by myself." Ever since I got the tiny bulge in my stomach he's been doting on me and pissing me the hell off. "Carlisle wants you to read this to me." He furrows his brow. "Why did he say I have to read it to you?" I give him a look. "Because he knows I wont read it myself." Paul just shakes his head and begins reading and the entire time i'm making comments.

"Fun." I say sarcastically when it starts talking about the babies internal organs. Paul gives me a look. He's way into the whole growth thing. He thinks it's amazing that a person is growing in me slowly. It makes me want to throw up.

"Hear that Jay? It'll look like a person by the end of the month."He says excitedly. I have to smile at his enthusiasm.

The pamphlet tells how there is no cause for the overwhelming saliva that will occur this month."Well I need someone to figure out what causes it, because I'm tired o having to spit constantly." After saying that i take the little waste basket by the couch and spit. "Lovely." Paul says sarcastically.

I tune out a lot of the rest of the reading.

"Well now that that's done," Paul says jumping up. "Lets go to the store."

* * *

Ten minutes later we're in Paul's Honda. "I printed out everything we'll need to buy for your first trimester." Paul says I just nod and put my headphones in.

we get to a store in Seattle a few hours later. We walk into the store and Paul gets a cart before pulling out the list. "Okay so first we need crackers it'll apparently ease your stomach." We walk in comfortable silence to the crackers. Paul puts like thirty boxes in the cart. "What? i like crackers to."

I giggle. "Whats next?" He looks down at the list.

" Shea butter helps prevent stretch marks, Or so they say." I knock a bunch into the cart.

"screw stretch marks." Paul shakes his head with a smile.

" Next you need L'Occitane's Angelica cleansing gel. Some people get breakouts often and this is gently on your skin." We get the gel and walk to baby books. "Expecting 411 is what the suggest." Paul says.

Immediately after I put the book in the cart who other then Jessica Stanley walks up to me.

"Oh my god. Aj," She lowers her voice. "Are you pregnant?" I roll my eyes.

"Yes. If that's all. " I walk away dragging Paul and the cart behind me. "The entire town of forks will know by the end of the day." I tell him. "Guess it's luck. Now i wont have to tell them. Whats next." I say glumly.

"Moisturizer." I get the same brand of moisturizer that i got cleanser.

At the end of the hour we have a cart full with cases of water, some really cute leggings,vitamins,yogurt, oranges, 7 Seamless cami sports bra's, Bio oil, Broadways calls oil, Belli products,Camelbak Water Bottle. Omega Mom Prenatal Fish Oil (Omega 3) and Borage Seed capsules and everything else I'll need. My phones its vibrating non stop. _Jess got the word out faster then I thought._

I get into the car while Paul puts the bags in the trunk. When he gets in and starts the car. He looks at me and smiles. for no reason at all. Just smiles. And I smile back. thinking about our baby, hoping he's thinking the same thing.


	5. Three months pregnant

Me and Paul sit in the doctors office waiting to go do the first ultra sound that they call the dating ultrasound so we can hear the heartbeat and _could _find out the sex of the baby. "Tell me again why we're not finding out the sex of the baby?" Paul asks. "I want to be surprised." I say. "I don't like surprises." He whines. I cock my head to the side. "Well the person carrying the baby thinks its better NOT to know."

"Paul and Annabella." Me and Paul get up and follow the pretty doctor to a room in the back."

"Hello I'm Doctor so this today we're going to see your baby's body is becoming more balanced. The head is still quite big in relation to the body but it begins to take a round shape. His or her face features become more evident and detailed. The brain is even developing further. Exciting isn't it!" I have to admit it is a bit exciting.

"So lets get started. She rubs this cold stuff on my stomach and dims the lights. The gray image appears on the screen and she wheels her rolling chair over to right here you can see the eyes and ears beginning to take shape, but they wont be developed for a few more months right now the eyes are located on the sides of the baby's face but will move towards the center, where they should be. The eyelids are almost fully formed, protecting your baby's eyes. The contour of the lips appear and the salivary glands and vocal cords begin to form." I furrow my brow. "So... My baby's eyes are on the side of it's head?" She nods with a smile. "Like a fly." Paul nudges my arm. "AJ!" The doctor gives a little giggle and turns back to the screen

"As you can see the baby can move a bit, And If you look;" She turns and smiles then points to something moving on the screen, "It looks like the baby is waving." I smile and look at Paul who's grinning from ear to ear.

She turns up the volume of the screen and the heartbeat fills the room. "Now I understand that you don't want to know the gender." I look at Pauls disappointed face and Turn back to the doctor. "Tell us please." Paul smiles widely at me. She leans closer as if to tell a secret. "Well if you'd look at that. It looks like you're having-"

_NOOOOOOOO_

* * *

**(mid chapter cliff hanger)**

We walk into my house to see my dad, billy black, and Jacob black sitting on the couch eating sandwiches watching fast and the furious. "Remember to sleep on your side." I roll my eyes. "I know." I say. "And prop your feet with a-" I cut him off. "Goodbye Paul." I push him out the door and shut it. Locking it behind him. "How was the ultrasound? Did you find out what you're having?"Dad asks not looking up from the TV. "Fine and yes." I answer simply going over and hugging my god-dad. "Hi billy." He smiles. "Hey princess." Dad looks up. "so what is it." I smile evilly. "You'll find out in six months." I leave the living room and go into Bella's bedroom. "Hey tink. hey Edward." They both say hello in tune. "So..." Edward say slowly. "Alice wants to build a room for you when you and the baby come stay over. What color do you think your baby boy will like, green or blue." He says trying to trick me into telling him. He can only read the topic of my thoughts. for instance if i'm thinking about the sex of my baby he can only hear 'baby'. I smirk. "You think you're so clever. It's cute. Like when rihanna thinks she's hitting a note." (that's a kingsley quote)


	6. Four months pregnant

I'm so damn happy that the first trimester is over! Doctor Daisy said that the sickness' should subside a little now and i'm just hoping i dont have to sleep beside the toilet anymore.

I got a second ultra sound yesterday and doctor D says that the baby's eyelashes have started growing and I dont know why but I'm really happy about these microscopic hairs growing on my baby's face.I also found out that the baby isn't breathing. Yeah. the lungs stay collapsed until the baby takes its first breath after birth. The baby's bones are becoming stronger and the inner ear bone is beginning to harden. And the baby can also hear now so Paul, Bella, and Rosalie are obsessed with talking to my stomach and Edward is almost constantly playing classical music through headphones which he puts on my headphones. When ever hes not around i play kesha and avril lavigne. The clean version's. Dr. Daisy conformed what she told us the first time.

_Fuck my life!_

My stomach is really uncomfortable and feels like its filled with sand when I really know it's filled with food. I eat almost as much as Paul now. It's almost insatiable. I carry a bag of marshmallows with me at all times. No matter what I eat i have to have marshmallow with it for some un known reason.

I'm clearly pregnant. Everyone can see it when I wear my regular clothes. In fact i cant even fit into my jeans anymore so all i wear is sweats,yoga pants, and leggings. My feet are kind of swollen too.

I eat healthier then I ever have before, minus the marshmallows. My baby is apparently a health nut because if i eat anything besides fruit, vegetables, marshmallows, and peanut butter i throw up immediately.

I do low impact exercising, such as walking, swimming or low-impact aerobics.

everyone in forks knows im pregnant and I think Jessica,Lauren,Alice,and Rosalie are going to kill each other over who gets to plan my baby shower. When I suggested they plan together they told me to stay out of it.

* * *

"dude you have to buy this."Emily says holding up a pink and white sleeveless, full length, maternity maxi dress.

"Thats so cute!" I say taking the dress an tossing it at Paul.

Me, Paul, Sam, Jared,Kim, and Emily are all in the motherhood store in guys are basically here to carry the bags and get think off of the top shelf. "What about this?" Kim shows me a knee length,strapless dress with a sweetheart neckline and an empire waist. Its decorated with a sash belt and large pink Chinese flowers popping out against the black cotton. Once again I throw it at Paul.

At the end of the hour all of the guys had arms filled with clothes bags. "What now?" Sam asks getting into the drivers seat of his car with Emily in the passengers seat.

"Food." I say quickly. They all look at me weirdly. "What? I'm hungry." They laugh and Sam begins driving back to the reservation.

An hour and a half and bag of marshmallows later we pull into Sam and Emily's driveway. the pizza man who followed us to the house since we called from the car, gives us the pizza, all 10 of them, and drives off.

We go into the house and put the pizzas on the counter. "Pineapple." Sam says handing my the fruit covered pizza. The only way to eat fatty foods for me is to cover it in fruits.I would just eat a vegetarian pizza but that's disgusting. I open the box and take out a slice.

A pained howl comes from the forest and all of the boys look at each other. "Embry." They say before running out of the house and into the forest. They had been waiting for Embry to phase for weeks and it looks like it finally happened.

"So now that the guys are gone lets talk. so AJ..." Emily says. "How's pregnant life, how you feeling, what you thinking about, what are you having, is the morning sickness subsiding?"

I smirk. "Fine Good, Baby names, I'm still not telling you, yes." She pouts on her non scarred side.

Out of the tree's come the boys and one of Jacob black's friends who I can now identify as Embry. Emily puts a slice of meat lovers on a plate and waits for him to come in. She's like the pack mother.

"Hi honey." she says giving Embry, who looks terrified, the plate and smiles warmly. She turns as to avoid Embry's stares which would piss Sam off.

"Hi I'm Kim." Kim says smiling at him he smiles politely. I lean back in my chair.

"I'm AJ." He looks at me politely before his eyes widen. I giggle.

"Wow um... How many months are you."

"what the hell do you mean? I'm not pregnant."

His eyes get even bigger. Paul shakes is head. "She's almost five months."

I laugh. "Sorry dude. I had to." I pick up the pizza and accidentally eat a bite without the sweet fruit on it and swallowed. My stomach started turning instantly. I run up the stairs of Sams house so fast that i deserve a fucking award. Paul comes in and holds my hair as i throw up more then i think I've even eaten.

When I'm done Paul gives me a toothbrush (he has a bunch stacked up in the glove department) and tooth paste. I scrub my mouth for about five minutes then rinse my mouth and return to the kitchen.

"Make your phone stop blasting awful music."Jared whines as i walk in my phone sits abandoned on the table playing the game. i slap Jared on the head as i walk by.

"Never insult motorhead!" I answer the phone.

"Hey tink ,how was school?" Dad manged to get me out of school until the baby is born. Bella brings and delivers my assignments to and from school. She sniffles.

"They're gone." I furrow my brow.

"Who's gone?" She seems hysteric.

"All of them. The Cullen's are gone."

**xoxo**


	7. Five months pregnant

It's so hard to believe but here I am, 5 months pregnant! the baby did start moving last month near the end. this month is supposed to be the most relaxed and rewarding out of the pregnancy.

The baby has also gained weight to protect its self or something like that.

I can barely move on some days due to the random painful leg cramps that come at random times, but I still try to be as active as possible. Also the swelling in my feet is getting worse and , who is now my main and only doctor now that the Cullen's had left, says that the swelling gets worse as you get closer to the due increasing weight has also caused me to get the worst back pains ever.

I have to eat seven small meals a day as opposed to eating three big meals to avoid bloating.

Daisy said I might start feeling dizzy but to be honest I feel fine. I get a little dizzy coming down stirs and standing up to fast but other than that I'm fine.

The baby has reached around one pound, so i'm noticeably on the bright side my hair is so luxurious due to the extra nutrients.

Now that the baby is active, Paul loves to feel it kick. While i'm sitting, lying down or standing, he softly rubs my belly . We also speak to the baby because it is now able to recognize voices and we like to see who the baby kicks for the most. Paul won, but whatever.

I strive for a balanced diet and exercise. I avoid fatty foods, sweets and fried foods. I don't get sick if i eat them that much anymore but now they just repulse me so that I dont ever even think about going to eat them.

I had to stop taking my iron pills, but an iron deficiency increases the risk of premature birth or giving birth to a baby with low weight or is underweight, so i have to eat foods that are high in iron like most of which i couldn't stomach to eat before i was pregnant like eggs, spinach and other green vegetables, dried fruits, dates, wheat germ, oatmeal and red meat.

Being 5 months pregnant is one of the most relaxing and easy times of the pregnancy. my pregnancy is obvious to outsiders and I get compliments on my healthy pregnancy glow often. Feeling the baby move inside of me is a rewarding aspects of the whole pregnancy. a weird aspect but a rewarding one.

* * *

"Hey, Bella." I say walking into her room but then covering my nose. "What is that smell?" She continues to stare out the window sadly.

"Pain."

I suck a breath and walk to sit beside her. "Hey Tink why dont you go to la push with me." She keeps staring out the window.

"No."

I wrap an arm around her shoulder. "C'mon, it'll be fun! We can brush your teeth, Then brush your hair," I take a sniff of air. "Then brush your teeth again, because that breath is NASTY girl!" It's not the politest thin that I could have said, but dammit it's true.

"No." She says stubbornly. Shes really starting to piss me off.

"DADDY!" I yell. He runs into the room holding his gun.

"What's going on?" He asks.

"Are you kidding me? Do you smell it in here! Me and Bella are going to La push but she smells like she hasn't bathed in two years and has a horrible attitude."

I cross my arms over my chest which by the way is getting harder and harder.

"Well..." Dad says mischievously, "There is nothing we can do about the attitude, but..."

I smile. "I knew i got my evilness from somewhere." I hold up one finger then two then three each time getting closer to the depressed brunette. On three, we grab Bella and drag her to the bathroom kicking and screaming.

We throw her into the shower and dad looks at me, "Handle that, Please." I nod, wait for dad to leave and turn on the water.

two hours later Bella is nice smelling and clean.

* * *

I drive Bella's truck with her in the passengers seat to Paul's house. He of course hears us before we're even in the driveway. "He helps me out of the car and wraps an arm around my shoulder.

"Why is she still in the car." He asks once I step through the thresh hold. I sigh.

"Could you please go get her." He nods a and goes to the car, lifting Bella's lifeless body over his shoulder and carries her inside. He sits her on the couch and he slumps over hugging the throw pillow that I forced Paul to buy.

_what am i going to do with her _

"Jay." I follow Paul's voice into the kitchen.

"Yeah?"

"I was just wondering what time i'm picking you up on friday for our date."

"We have a date?"

"Well what type of boyfriend would I be if I didn't take you out once in a while?"

"You're my boyfriend?"

"If you say yes. So are you going to answer my questions."

I smirk. "Pick me up at eight. You'd be a bad boyfriend. And yes I'll go out with you."


	8. Sixseven months pregnant

I have almost reached the end of my six month which will also be the end of my second trimester meaning the baby is almost fully formed. Nothing has really happened this month.

Which by the way is a total bullshit lie.

Okay try to keep up with this Jerry springer shit that went down.

So Jacob Black, Who has huge crush on Bella and is Embry's best friend, Phased and found out that Embry imprinted, This sort of wolfish mating system thing, on Bella. The problem is Bella doesn't know that Embry imprinted on her, even though she has a crush on him, so she lowered her standards for Jacob. Though Jacob can't pursue Bella because it violates the bro code or some shit like that.

And another weird thing happened. Both of the clearwaters phased. As in Seth _and Leah. _That makes Leah the first female in history to become a werewolf. Which surprised everyone especially Harry Clearwater who had a heart attack and died. Then Sue Clearwater was put into rehab fo drug abuse. So dad volunteered to let them stay with us. None of us could agree on where we are sleeping so dd ha the brilliant idea to make us all sleep in the basement. I am the ONLY ONE who doesn't fucking snore by the way.

Oh and did i forget to mention that Paul, My incredibly sexy boyfriend/ baby daddy, told me he imprinted on me. Yeah, He imprinted on me. Oh and I feel like i'm missing something.

* * *

"Stop it AJ." Paul orders s I bounce on the trampoline in Sams back yard. I laugh and decide to make him even more concerned. I jump up and do a toe touch. "Annabella Jade Swan! STOP IT!" I laugh any more before doing it again before getting off of the trampoline.

"I'd do a back flip if I didn't think you'd have a stroke." I say giving him a kiss on the cheek.

* * *

**7 months**

OH YEAH LAST TRIMESTER YEAH! said it probably feels like time has passed very quickly, but i call bull shit. this has been a long fucking time. I'm just just about 3 months away from the day that i'll have my baby. December 15th. I try to keep this in mind whenever i get a little stressed out. Worrying doesn't need to be part of my schedule – i'm almost at the finishing that a track reference? I've been hanging out with the pack too long. When my hormones start acting up I just take a deep breath and try to calm down. Most of the time its so that i wont kill Leah.

The baby can almost hear everything now and at the rate leah is pissing me off the baby's first sentence is going to be 'fuck you bitch'. Some cultures believe that too much noise may over stimulate the baby but dr d said its acceptable to listen to loud music

The baby's sight is also clearer this month. During the ultrasound, we could see how the baby's eyes open and close without a problem. Also, the taste of the baby is developed and the food i eat can influence its taste.

Last month the baby's lungs were undeveloped, this month they can survive outside the womb, But their development is not completed yet.

the baby also has hair and Paul keeps telling me that the baby is going to be a red head like I was befor i dyed my hair brown. I punched him for that.

My stomach is itching like hell but I dont scratch because that makes stretch marks worst, so i just massage my stomach with cocoa butter.

Braxton Hicks contractions are a bitch by the way. They are apparently the body's way of practicing for the coming labor. The contractions stop if you change position but i'm to fucking lazy to do that.

I also have to be every ten minutes.

Isn't that a nice thing to share?

My usually angular face is rounder and fluffier and i hate it. And the pounds just keep piling on. The baby just keeps gaining weight every week and so do i. fun. The stretch marks can become even more visible this month. but the changes are nothing that i haven't handled before.

Dr.d made us come up with a birthing plan. Paul for some reason really really wants to be there when i give birth. I decided to have the baby naturally but only after I made sure that 1:I would have PLENTY of drugs, and two i made sure that my er... down there, would go back to normal. Paul still enjoys telling stories to my stomach. said that most likely the baby will respond to Paul's voice better them mine. That is un acceptable. So i began reading the baby books. we're in the middle of the third harry potter book.

I have to get at least eleven hours of sleep to decrease the risk of premature birth. Paul insists on carrying me every where and when i finally escape him, Seth carry's me. The latter of which i dont mind so much but i'll be damned if i admit that. The only exercise i get is a daily walk that Daisy recommends.

I also have to drink a lot of water which doesn't really help with the whole bathroom situation.

I'm still eating health because it'll help with the baby's calcium intake and that is very important. Or so PAul tells me EVERY time i eat something that wasnt 'organically grown'

Oh and tomorrow something very "exciting" is happening. My baby shower.

* * *

I wake up at around eight o'clock and waddle up the basement stairs.

"That cannot be my little girl" I groan.

"Dial it down a few notches mom." My eyes shoot open as the realization sets in. "Mom!" I hug my mother as best i can.

"Stay still!" she says putting the side of her face on my stomach. The baby kicks almost instantly. "ow. looks like you're going to have a soccer star on your hands. Oh look you're a red head again." She says fingering my hair.

"I cant take the dye fumes so i just let it grow out then cut out the brown." I explain.

"Your freckles dont stand out so much now." She complements in her weird way.

"Thanks." i take a bag of apple slices out of the fridge and begin eating them with peanut butter.

"Are you eating fruit?" Mom asks incredulously.

"I know! Weird right." I agree.


	9. Baby shower

I climb out of moms car at the holiday in express in seattle were the baby shower is being held. No body knows what I'm having so it's going to be interesting to see what the party is like. I walk in chatting quietly to mom.

"What room is it in?" I ask. Everyone else left to set up an hour ago so its just us trying to navigate the hallway.

"The garden room." After six minutes we find it in the most random hallway ever.

Walking in I see all my friends and some family in a turquoise and white decorate room. I didn't think they were going to find a way to design everything for a boy and or girl so i was really suprised at how neutral the room is. The baby's animal is wolfs apparently because in the middle of every table is a cute white plush wolf . I have a feeling that the pack had something to do with that.

Jessica puts a tiara and sash on me and leads me to a table in the center of the room with mom, dad, Bella, Phil, and Paul.

Jessica whistles and everybody looks at her. "Okay so of course at any good baby shower there are games and presents. Presents will be at the end but I figured we should bring these presents in. They are from billy black and company, im sorry thats just alot of names," I look at the pack who all smile seemingly unhappily. jessica gestures to a table that was previously empty and now is seating... the cullens.

I use my finger to beckon to alice who sits net to me in the chair. "I missed-" I cut her off.

"We'll discuss this later young lady! continue jessica."

Jessica goes on an explains the first game were you have to guess what baby food you're eating. "Aj pick four people to eat the baby food." Jess says and i smirk evily.

"Alice, Paul, Leah, and... Daddy." All of them grumble and moan but slowly make there way to the chairs in the front and put on the blind folds and bibs.

I pickup the first jar and show it to everyone else. "Okay daddy you first." I get a large spoonful and put it in his mouth. He gags but manages to choke it down.

" what do you think it is?" I ask. He grimaces.

"Dirt." I laugh.

"No." i smile "Don't you wish you were nicer to me LeeLee." I say sweetly before shoving the spoon in her mouth. She swallows and chokes a bit.

"That taste like cement block and pizza sauce." I laugh.

"That's actually what it looks like. And you're not even that far off"

Alice's nose is turned up. It smells gross to humans so i can only imagine what she's smelling. "I don't wanna-" I shove the spoon in her mouth. She gags. "Is that pureed horse crap." I laugh.

"Nope. On a side note the baby is never eating this." I move to paul. "Open." He scrunches his nose but complies. I put the spoon in his mouth. He tastes it before swallowing.

"Is that spaghetti?" _what? _

"How the hell do you know that?" Paul shrugs and i look at him weirdly.

"Okay next!" I pick up the squash and show everyone. "Open up daddy." I sing song.

"I dont want-" I shove the spoon in huis mouth like i did Alice. Jessica who i guess trid all of the foods before hand had a trash can ready as he immediatly spit the food out.

"That taste like ear wax and dead fish." It actually smells like it.

* * *

After the last baby food, named grandma's Sunday lunch,( to which leah said and i quote. 'Fuck grandma for making baby's eat that! She's a fucking bitch!') Jessica says that we're playing the who knows mommy the best quiz. I stand in the front of the room and begin asking qustions. all of the guests names are written on the white board and when they get a question right they get a point. Whoever gets the most right gets a prize, just like dad got a prize for guessing the most baby food. it was a candle.

"Question 1: How old am i." Dad was the first of many to say 16.

"Whats my shoe size." I ask after giving dad a point.

"Four?" Sam guesses and Paul snorts.

"Nine." I roll my eyes and give Paul the point.

"Whats my favorite color." Mike correctly guesses hot pink.

"Whats my favorite TV show?"

Mom says, "Jersey shore." i shake my head.

"That show is not on the air anymore and even if it was you're still wrong."

Bella also answers incorrecty when she says "Spongebob." Even though I do love spongebob..

"Maury Povich." Jasper says with a laugh.

"And why is that my favorite show?" I ask giving him a point.

"Becuse you're mean and like to make fun of peoples suffering." I smile.

"You know me so well."

"Whats my favorite dessert?" Jessica answers with apple pie and gets a point.

At the end of the game Alice ended up winning and got earrings.

"Not that I'm not having fun seeing how much you all don't know me, but i'm really hungry so." i begin drifting towards the table singing Meat on the table by jim johnston. "Meat on the table yeah that's what you are."

Once everyone is seated and eating Jess plays a playlist of my favorite songs.

"So I put my hands up  
They're playing my song,  
And the butterflies fly away  
I'm noddin' my head like yeah  
Movin' my hips like yeah  
I got my hands up,  
They're playin' my song  
I know I'm gonna be OK  
Yeah, it's a party in the USA  
Yeah, it's a party in the USA" I sing along dancing in my seat. with Alice.

**"**thank god it's over." Leah said when the song ends. "How could you like that song?" I ignore her ass the beginning music for radioactive, Me and Alice's favorite song, starts playing.

**_Whoa, oh, oh_**

**_Whoa, oh, oh  
Whoa, oh, oh  
Whoa_**

**I'm waking up to ash and dust**  
**I wipe my brow and I sweat my rust**  
**I'm breathing in the chemicals**

**I'm breaking in, shaping up, then checking out on the prison bus**  
**This is it, the apocalypse**  
**Whoa**

**I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones**  
**Enough to make my systems blow**  
**Welcome to the new age, to the new age**  
**Welcome to the new age, to the new age**  
**Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, I'm radioactive, radioactive**  
**Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, I'm radioactive, radioactive**

**I raise my flags, don my clothes**  
**It's a revolution, I suppose**  
**We're painted red to fit right in**  
**Whoa**

**I'm breaking in, shaping up, then checking out on the prison bus**  
**This is it, the apocalypse**  
**Whoa**

**I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones**  
**Enough to make my systems blow**  
**Welcome to the new age, to the new age**  
**Welcome to the new age, to the new age**  
**Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, I'm radioactive, radioactive**  
**Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, I'm radioactive, radioactive**

**All systems go, the sun hasn't died**  
**Deep in my bones, straight from inside**

**I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones**  
**Enough to make my systems blow**  
**Welcome to the new age, to the new age**  
**Welcome to the new age, to the new age**  
**Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, I'm radioactive, radioactive**  
**Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, I'm**

**_ radioactive,_ radioactive**

We sing the entire thing while i eat and throw grapes at her and Rosalie. Its good to have my best friends back. Even if everyone isn't psyched about most of the Cullen's returning. Edwards not with them which seems to cheer most people up. but fuck Edward. Its a party with out him. I see Embry and Bella laughing and joking in the corner and nudge Alice who smile's with a twinkle in her eye. "Looks like Bella's having her own Party in the USA." Rosalie giggles.


	10. Eight months pregnant

I am one month away from having the baby, One. Month. Away. Me and Paul managed to perfect our birthing plan. Paul and Bella are going to be in the delivery room with me and Carlisle, much to Paul's dismay, Is going to deliver the baby. I researched everything i need to know about epidurals just to know what to expect. Through this researching and preparation I still somehow had to manage to find time to relax. Even the penultimate month of pregnancy brings new changes.

The baby is almost completley done forming but will not be completley done untill next month

The Braxton-Hicks contractionsare getting more intense and they come almost every hour on the hour. It hurts like a bitch but does not come as sharp and painful as before, just more frequently.

The baby has this weird addiction with sitting directly on my blatter causing me to have to pee every five minutes. That pared with the contractions is enough to make anyone want to end the pregnancy already.

I have a lot of joint pain expessially in my knees from the extra weight off carrying the baby

I feel bigger then the good year I try not to get discouraged; Carlisle and Daisy both say it's all healthy. Oh and interesting factoid just incase you were wondering my boobs have started leaking milk. Sounds fun right?

Paul is getting on my nerves trying to making this month a time of serenity and support. But i'm trying to enjoy the last moment of silence that i'll get in a long time. And the last moment of sleep that i'll get in about... eighteen years.

I think i've eaten more vitamins then i'v ever eaten in my life. My iron depostes are running extremely low this month. It also eat lots of food rich in iron like green vegetables, fresh fruits, dried fruits, cereals and red meat.

I can finally drink juice with out getting sick again. What What. I really missed hawiian punch.

Apparently being relaxed will make the delery easier and at the rate i'm going tis is going to be hard as fuck

Me and paul came up with the perfect baby name. We also prepared a hospital overnight kit with things like a comfortable change of clothes, reading material, music,and a camera. We're not filmin the birth but, Paul insists on bringing it and i have absolutely no idea why. He says its a suprise.

I have come through some challenging changes. I have survived morning sickness and the moodiness caused by hormonal changes. I have felt my weight balloon. I have adjusted my diet, and my exercise regime. i have mentally prepared, and discussed my birth plan with Paul. I don't feel ready. But I know I have to be


	11. Nine months pregnant

YES! I'm in my last month of pregnancy.I will be able to hold my baby in my own arms any time now. It is only a matter of days before the much-anticipated day comes: the day when my baby is born.

The baby is a lot more active now. It moves around so much kicks very strongly but not often because it has less space to move around.

I've become really restless as well. I have so much more energy now, its fucking ridiculous. I now have an irrational desire to prepare shit for the baby's arrival, that's my house and Paul's house. I've become obsessed with cleaning, cooking, and says this is called nesting.

Due to the growing weight of the baby my body is experiencing more aches and pains carrying the extra body mass. This causes the body to ache.

just when i thought i couldn't get any bigger, i continue to gain weight. i feel huge, bloated and unattractive. It all better change completely once i have given birth.

Paul is making sure that everything is prepared for me and the baby. He makes sure everything is prepared for the birth. He even does test routes to the hospital. He has my hospital bag already in the trunk of the is as supportive as possible.

I've also been practicing on how to breathe during labor.

I had to prepare mentally and physically for what is about to happen in the coming days.

I am so proud of myself for dealing with all of the shit i have endured these past months.

I just keep thinking about how I am actually going to bring a baby into this world.

* * *

I lay slung across my couch and flip through channels. Paul sits cross legged on the floor in front of me and allows me to play with his hair. "FX! Has the movies! FX FX has the movies!"I sing along to the channel's theme song happily. Paul smiles. _god he's cute! _I think looking at the quiluite boy about to watch Madea's big happy family with me.

We sit in silence for a few minutes before he finally just blurts out, "I love you." My eyes widen in shock. "i know it's-" I cut him of.

"Paul my-"

"No let me finish. It's not the imprint making say that if that's what you're thinking. I just really really-"

"My water just broke." now its his turn to get wide eyed. We run out of the house and climb into Pauls Honda.

"What does the paper say do?" Paul asked panicked

'Once your water has broken contact a mid wife or your doctor.' I read dialing Carlisle number.

"Come to the house as quickly as you can. I'll meet you there." He says after asking a list of questions.

I hang up. "Go to the Cullen's house." I bark at Paul. "Oh really?" He shoots back sarcastically. "I thought we were taking a road trip to DC."

Once at the hospital Carlisle checks the heartbeat of the baby.

My contractions started halfway to the Cullen house.

* * *

Two hours later i'm walking around a hospital room in circles. "AJ, PLEASE sit down." Paul says annoyed with my pacing. "Shut up." I'm 6 centimeters dilated right now meaning I have to wait. The strange pains I've been getting for the past week and a half were apparently contractions. "Carlisle." I whine. The vampires in the room ten seconds later. "Yes AJ." He says leaning against the wall. "I'm bored." He rolls his eyes. "I told you there's nothing i can do about that." I scoff and continue pacing

* * *

**I'm not writing the birth but feel free to imagine if you're into that shit**

* * *

**third person**

twelve hours later walks into the lobby were Charlie, Renee, all of the Cullen children who returned,and the pack sat waiting. "come see the babies." He says in his smooth silk room, leading them to AJ's private room.

AJ lay in the hospital bed looking tired but happy in her arms lay a gorgeous baby. Paul and Bella stand beside the bed looking at the baby in adoration. Charlie steps forward with his ex wife and her new husband and lean over the sleeping child.

"She's beautiful." Charlie says sweeping the baby's hair away from it's face.

"What you name her?" Renee asks softly to avoid waking the sleeping baby.

"Farah Stella-Alexandra Lahote." AJ answers looking down at the baby with a small smile. She rubs the baby's forehead with her thumb.

"that's pretty." Alice says stepping beside Paul was so absorbed in his child he didn't even mind the small pixie next to him. It wasnt until then that the people in the room noticed the little boy in pauls arms.

"Why didn't you tell us you were having twins?" Renee says a little miffed.

AJ shrugs"You didn't ask." Aj says smiling at her little boy.

Jai peacefully slept in Paul's warm arms, but Farah's little face furrows as she wakes with a cry. Her eyes were a bright blue much like her now diseased great grandmother, Marie's. Her chocolate brown hair was swept to the side. Her face is round and rosy. Aj hushes her back to sleep gently.

* * *

I wake up at around three am to not exactly a cry, but more like a loud whine coming out off Farah. I picked her out of the little clear plastic bed the hospital provided and lean back into my hospital bed. I'm surprised at how quickly she stops crying and how alert she seems.

"Whats wrong?" I ask in a light voice. "Whats wrong with my little baby?". Jai stayed asleep beathing deeply like his dad who slept across th room.

Carlisle said there vision is a little blurry but she can see things that are a few inches away. I put my finger into her palm and she grabs it. She pulls it up to her mouth and wants to eat it.

Carlisle said that she should be really sleepy and it turns out he's right. She doses back to sleep and i keep her in my arms. I set my phone alarm to two and a half hours from now when i'll have to wake them up and feed them. I'm bottle feeding because the other way seems weird to me.

I think i have experienced every emotion i have in the last few hours, from anxiety to unrestrained joy. I go back to sleep with her in my arms, thoroughly exhausted.

* * *

I wake up to find that Farah isn't in my arms and panic.

bell and Paul are still asleep, so I know neither of them took Farah and neither of the twins are in their beds. When my panic reaches a peak Carlisle walks into the room cradling the twins in his arms.

"Oh thank god!" I say. He seems apologetic.

"I had to take them for some tests.I did wake you, you just returned to sleep." I nod. I could never be mad at Carlisle. I take Farah out of his arms and place her into the crib. Before doing the same to Jai"I'll be back in an hour." He says walking out of the room. Almost as soon as he left my phone alarm went off.I make their bottles before waking Farah up first.

I'm feeding Jai when Paul wakes up. "Hey doll." I say. "Hey." He comes and stands beside the bed and watches me feed him. he eats half of the bottle before refusing. Paul reaches out and takes him from my arms. he seems even more comfortable in Paul's warm muscular arms. he falls asleep gripping his finger in his itty bitty hand.

* * *

A few hours later I'm sitting cross legged on the hospital bed watching TV. "HEY GURRRL!" Emmett says walking into the hospital room holding a bunch of pink and blue balloons and a basket of chocolate.

"Hey Em." I say with a laugh. "Were's Rosie. " Paul seems really uncomfortable with the vampire in the room while Paul and Embry, who showed up mostly to hang out with Bella, seems a little cautious but still at the same time partially relaxed.

"She's talking to Carlisle."I nod with out asking for explanation.

"Paul it's your turn to change her." I say. Trading Farah for Jai who had been in paul arms. He nods and goes to the bathroom.

"So," Emmett says. Standing beside the bed. "You had a boy and a girl." I nod slowly. "You know you could have named them BOTH after me. Emma and Emmett." I roll my eyes at the muscle bound vampire.

Paul walks in the same time as Rosalie and growls slowly before putting Farah in the hospital crib.

"What the matter dog." She hisses the word with venom in her voice.

"Nothing, Parasite." He growls back at the blonde.

"All of you are going to get kicked out if you dont shut up." I say putting the now fed and sleeping Jai into the crib next to Farah.

"Sorry." Rosalie says walking over to Farah who looked up at the Pretty vampire with curiosity. "Can I hold her?" I give Paul a look and tell Rosalie yes.

She smiles and lifts farah who immediately begins wailing in the freezing arms of Rosalie.

Paul smirks. "My kid's smart." I take Farah from Rosie and soothe the baby as her almost identical twin sleeps. The only difference between he twins, besides the obvious difference between boys and girls, Is Jai's green eyes which he gets from pauls mom.

* * *

Rosalie and Emmett leave a few hours later after discovering that Jai, the peaceful twin, doesn't take kindly to Rosalie holding him either. I didn't allow any of my friends from school to visit because of how susceptible the twins are to catching diseases at this age.

* * *

**I was just going to have Farah until someone requested Jai's name and i loved it, so I hope you enjoyed.**

**xoxo**


	12. Back home

The next morning at six am I am released from the hospital. me and Paul put the baby's into their car seats. Paul went out and got a pink one like Jai's white one for Farah. I get into the back seat with the twins, just in case they wake up.

"Were are we going." I say when I realized Paul isn't driving in the direction of either of our homes. "you'll see." We drive to coho drive which is halfway between my home and Paul's. He parks at 120 Coho Dr. "What are you doing?" I ask. not responding he gets the twins and begins walking. I follow him suspiciously. Paul pulls out a key and opens the door.

Inside The hallway there is no decorations. I follow Paul and walk into an empty room with a fire place. "Who's house is this?" He tosses the key at me and i catch it. "Your dad though having your own place to stay would be good for you. Its yours. I stand in shock for a few seconds before immediately exploring.

It's a really cute house that can just use a few fixings. I didn't have a registry list so I ended up getting multiple of everything. The twins things were in two rooms separated by a door. All the stuff is basically the same o i dont know who's room is who's.

All of my things are stacked neatly in the room across from theirs along with a crib for the twins. "Its so perfect." I say to Paul who's still holding the twins.

* * *

That night we stayed at Paul's house because ours isn't ready.

Everyone has heard that all a newborn baby do is eat, poop, cry, and sleep. Sounds simple, right? Wrong. It's way more over whelming then that.

The twins eat one to three ounces every three hours. They can't eat a lot because they have small stomachs.

Farah announces her hunger with screaming while Jai smacks his lips.

Carlisle said that the twins will lose about seven ounces so I should feed them so that they'll get back to their birth weights.

Jai is also very sleepy and the only way to get him to wake up is to strip him down to his diaper and rub his back. i blame paul for his love of nudity

Jai is easier in many ways. Farah needs to be burped frequently were as Jai burps by him self with little assistance. She will get fussy and upset if she isnt burped when she wants.

Farah also loves to spit up on ME. NOT ONCE has she spit up on Paul. But as soon as she gets to me its Niagara falls.

I change twenty diapers a day. I'm only putting 3 ounces into there mouths every three hours. HOW DO THEY PEE SO DAMN MUCH!

On the plus side, When the baby's had their firsts Bowel movements, BOTH times it was Paul's turn to change them.

The baby's are remarkably quiet and sleepy and they only cry for specific reasons.

I hope over time, it'll get easier to figure out why my baby's are crying.

There are also times when I think. "Maybe I am not as smart as my grades say." Because when they cry I have NO FUCKING IDEA. EVER. But Paul seems to always know. Asshole

The baby's have the amazing ability to fall asleep pretty much anywhere – in the car seat, baby carrier, bassinet, or in my arms. Jai prefer the snug fit of a car seat or baby carrier While Farah is partial to the crib for sleeping.

They make really weird noses when they sleep. Its like they have noses filled with snot but I just cleaned them out.

The twins also ave some really cute clothes. Which mostly come from aunty Alice.

* * *

Me and Paul dress the baby's before putting them in there car seats. They both matched in cute white winter coats covering matching pale blue onesies. I hurry them to the warm car and strap them in tightly.

I get into the front seat and buckle myself in. Carlisle said unless its freezing cold there is no reason that the twins have to stay shut up in a house. But to be safe we're only going to see the wolves, who cant get sick.

about twenty minutes later we get to Jacob's house. We walk into the small house warmed by the rest of the pack members all sitting in various places. I take Jai and sit between Paul and Embry. "Hey." The second I stop moving Jai begins squirming around in his seat, Scrunching his face.

I pick him up before leaning back in the seat and closing my eyes."Somebody looks sleepy."Sam teases from across the room. I glare a him.

"And who's fault is that exactly." I shoot Paul the same glare but he's half asleep.

"I know you're glaring at me but I fail to see how this is my fault." I raise an eyebrow.

"Who had to stay with the twins all night." He opens his eyes.

"who was fixing your damn house all night." His voice was a little louder then he intended and he woke Farah who screamed loudly. He groans.

"AJ don't you want to-" i shake my head telling him that i dont want to put farah back to sleep.

He picks up the tiny little girl and walks out of the room. I smile at the sleeping baby boy.

* * *

Later that night when we got back to Paul's house he left to finish the house. He had painted last night and now he's going to set up my furniture. It pays to have someone know exactly what you like because Paul was able to have the perfect furniture over nighted.

And now for a night with the twins. fun


	13. Chapter 13

I manage to get Farah to sleep at around two am, But Jai stays awake. He swings gently back in forth in his swing n seat. H seemed just as bored by the chair and the singing bear as I am. After a while he starts fussing I take him out of the seat and cradled him in my arms.

"Hey baby." I cradle him to my chest. "That seat was starting to annoy mommy too." I rock him back and forth for a while until he finally doses off. I laid him next to his sister before looking at the adorable two.

I pull out my camera and take a picture of them. They're only three day old but I had already been warned by my father that it wont be like this forever. I'd been up all night to the sound of newborn baby cries. Just as i'm about to go to sleep Farah decides to wake up. I sigh and make a pot of coffee and splash some water on my face before picking the little baby.

I put the tiny pink pacifier into her mouth and she quiets immediately. I look into her eyes. I dont see how people could be mean to their kids. Abuse them and mistreat them. This baby is depending on me. I'm her mom. I'm like a superhero in her tiny little eyes. But the truth is obvious. I'm not her hero. She and her brother where sent to rescue me. They're only thre days old but they're already my world.

Her little eyes blink tiredly. In her eyes everyone is equal. The world is at peace to her. Baby's aren't born with prejudice. I'm not a saint, But in my children's eyes I wraps her little hand around my finger and goes to sleep. I smile. This is what life is about.I thought when Raine died I would never get better. I thought my heart had enough, But these baby's are giving me a different perspective.

* * *

**PAUL**

I finish at AJ's at around 2 am and i get back to my place at three. I smile at AJ sleeping with Farah in her arms. I take the infant and put her in the crib. This woke up Jai who's little eyebrows furrowed. He cried and I pick him up before he can wake his sister and his mother. "It's okay Jay Jay. daddy's here." I walk through the house with the beautiful little boy.


	14. One week old

_**1 week**_

I lay beside Farah on the couch. My face close to hers so that she can see me.

She stares at my eyebrows happily. Carlisle said she wont look me in the eye for a while until she gets to know my face.

She makes me vain, because she loves looking at my face. So I make sure to give her plenty of opportunities. What? if I cant soak up the attention of my child who can. Paul sat feeding Jai, who stared at him like he was trying to figure out what species he is.

Farah drops her teddy bear. I pick it up and she blinks as the bear gets closer to her face. she grabs the paw and pulls it into her mouth. "Do not chew on that." I make a face at her and take the paw out of her mouth.

They both seem to be growing at around the same pace. Farah is a bit bigger then Jai, But she's adorable.

They are hitting there developmental mile stones on time, Carlisle says they are doing just fine.

They both recognize faces and gestures — and sometimes even imitate them. I put my face next to Farah's and stick my tongue out. After a few seconds she does the same.

I look back at Paul to see Jai sleeping in his sleeps a lot more then Farah. His sister lay on her stomach. She occasionally drops her head into the mattress but she sits back up.

* * *

We got in Paul's car and drive to My dads house. bella grabs Farah and Dad gets Jai. "Hello.?" I say. They had completely ignored me. "Hey." They both mumbled before continuing to coo at the twins.

After a while both the twins conk out causing my family to reluctantly have to put them in there stroller sit and watch TV on the big screen. "What is this movie even about." Dad asks in the middle of bad teacher. "Dad the movie is called bad teacher. What do you think it's about." Farah wakes up and bella reaches to grab her but I slap her hand away. "As long as she is not crying, she is fine. Good morning baby."

I hook a black and white mobile to the top of her crib and turn it on. The black and white patterns interest her as it spins around in slow circles. We finish the movie occasionally talking to the twins. Jai wakes up a few minutes after his sister.

I thought dad was going to cry when we left. "Chill daddy we'll see you tomorrow." He raises an eyebrow. "We're going shopping for groceries. remember?" HE nods and waves goodbye from the head of the drive way.


	15. One month old

_**1** **month**_

I walk down the narrow street pushing the double arms burn and so do my legs.

My little Jai is sleeping peacefully. He went to sleep one mile in. Maybe that's because he stayed up all night, And that means mommy had to stay up all night too. Maybe that is the reason that i'm delirious enough to get the idea to walk.

Farah looked around at every thing happily. She enjoyed the occasional sunny day walks we take. We've only done four since she was born. She shakes her rattle around happily. I randomly stop the stroller every few minutes just to see her little arms and legs flare out before returning. Carlisle says this is called the Moro reflex. She does it every time.

The stroller is leaned back slightly so that she doesn't have to support her neck which she can not do. I look down at her and smile. Her eyes are wide and excited about every thing she see's.

"Hey princess." I coo in a high pitched voice. Carlisle says that babies like high pitches. He has not been wrong since. Her eyes close and she try's to focus on my face.

After a few minutes she gets fussy. I touch her cheek and she turns her face. I sit down on a park bench, put the brake on the stroller and take her out. I shake up her bottle and put it into her mouth. She eats it greedily. She doses to sleep after a while and I return her to the seat.

Paul's at work and I wanted to get to dad's house. So we're walking. Walking fifteen miles. I'm pretty sure Satan put the idea in my mind.

"Hey, AJ." I turn to see Mike Newton. "Hey Mike. Walking to work today?" He nods. "My parents found me and Jess in my car and took it away." I shake my head. "Hey little guy." He says to the now awake Jai Ryder Lahote. Jai of course doesn't say anything.

"Can baby' s talk when they are a month old?" I raise an eyebrow. "Mike you know how you take your daily naps in parenting class?" He nods. "do not do that anymore." He laughs. "When you coming back to school tiny." I roll my eyes at the nickname. "Two weeks." HE nods. "Well I've got to go so," I wave goodbye and continue to dads.

* * *

Once I get there I use my key to open the door. "Hey dad!"I walk into the TV room. He blushes and I see why. Sitting way to close to him was Beth Crowley. "Well, Um." The tan lady blushes as well. "Bye Char- Chief." She rushes out of the house. "Charlie!" I scold. "You have some explaining to do."


	16. two months old

_ 2 **months**_

I am starting to get used to Farah and Jai's personality's. Me and Paul also learning what makes our 2-month old's tick - from likes and dislikes, to crying triggers, which are pretty basic at this point: hunger, sleepiness, and dirty diapers.

The twins are gaining more control over their bodies. That means they can hold their heads a little steadier while lying on their tummies or being supported upright.

The twins continue to have strong sucking reflex. They like to suck on their fists when they get upset. This is the best method they have to comfort themselves, Carlisle tells me.

The twins do not have the coordination to play with toys yet. But they like things hanging in front of or over them. They briefly will holf on to toys that I place into there hands.

The baby's sleep patterns are evolving, but they still aren't fully established. They sleep around 15 to 16 hours a day. But those hours are random, and they do not sleep through the night.

I need sleep. Like desperately. the only naps I get are during sex ed. I had twins, Therefore I do not need classes on how baby's are made.

I also sneak in sleep breaks on the rare occasions that both of the twins are sleeping at the same time.

I still need to get pretty close to the twins but now they can follow me and Paul's movements pretty well.

They enjoy listening to me talk even though they do not understand any of it.

The twins have gotten in to gurgles, grunts, and even some sweet coos. They recognize my face and voice, and respond to them. Sometimes when I talk they give me adorable little smiles.

Whenever I talk they get excited and kick their feet happily.

The twins are both exciting and Nerve wrecking.

I'm always on the go. As a result,the babies spend a lot of time in car seats and carriers. I know they should have the chance to move around in different positions during the day so they can use the muscles they'll need for rolling, crawling, and eventually walking. So I alternate the carrier with periods of tummy time, stroller walks, and plenty of cuddles in my arms.

* * *

I walk down the hallway happily. Paul is at work so my dad is keeping the twins. As I walk down the hall I hear the voice of Jessica. I don't mean to eaves drop, but I can't help it.

"I'm so glad that you moved here. I can't believe your parents shipped you from Texas to this hell hole." The new Eva Marie and Jessica grew up together in Texas until Jessica moved here when she was ten. "Who's that girl that everybody was talking about, today in home room?" I roll my eyes. "oh, Thats AJ. She is a major whore. She just had twins. I pretend to be her friend, But the truth is, I just felt sorry for her."

I stopped listening and ran down the hallway. I go into the bathroom and lock the stall door. I pull my knees to my chest and cry.

I made one mistake and everyone judges me. But I don't regret my children. I just wish it didn't have to be so horrible. People who I thought where my friends like Jessica are talking about me behind my back.

It's actually funny. No one cared when I was on drugs. When I was drinking and smoking. But after I dug my way out blood and fire it's like I am constantly having to push back the urges to go back. But I can't.

I made bad desisions. But that's alright. That's just my silly life.

Ever since I came back I've been mistreated by so called friends. I've been misplced by all of the staff, Claiming they just want to help. I've been misunderstood by everyone. But i'm still around. I just think of Farah and Jai.

I stand, Open the stall door, and go to the mirror; Cleaning the makeup streaks off of my face. I reapply my make up. The bell signaling the end of lunch rings and I walk to french class. Trying to convince my self that i'm okay.

"Bonjour Annabell comment ça va la vie?" The sweet french teacher Ms. Walsh asks me how life is going as I slide into my desk. In french I answer. "Aussi bon qu'il ne le serai jamais" She furrows her brow but doesn't mention it because in walks Jessica. _Whore. Maybe she's right. _I shake my head. Why dont the voices in my head like me?

She smiles and waves at me and I roll my eyes turning to the front. Why is high school so complicated? Maybe if I just look happy I'll make it. Look happy even if whenever i'm here i'm filled with so much hatred. Ugh this is such a tired game. _STOP. That is enough. Stop trying to please them, You've already done all you can think of, so whats the point of chasing that demon around. Just think of your kids._

My kids. My tiny little angels


	17. three months old

**_3 months_ **

Farah and Jai are three months old and growing bigger and becoming more aware every twins are now settling into a schedule, and giving me and Paul some much-needed rest!

Unfortunately they no longer make the funny startled reflexes, Which disappoints me. The have a lot mare strength in their necks then they did last month. When I hold one of my babies upright, I see very little wobbling with Jai and almost no head wobbling with Farah. The twins also have enough upper-body strength to support their head and chest with their arms while lying on their stomach and enough lower body strength to stretch out their legs and kick.

When I watch the twins, I see some early signs of hand-eye coordination. Their hands can open and shut, come together, swipe at colorful dangling toys, briefly grab a toy or rattle, and go straight into their mouths.

Carlisle tells me that their nervous system is maturing, and their stomach can accommodate more milk or formula. Those changes allow the twins to sleep for a stretch of six or seven hours at a time, which translates into a good night's sleep for me.

The twins rarely wake up in the middle of the night but when they do Carlisle told me to just go into the nursery and wait thirty seconds. A lot of the time the babies will cry for a few seconds and then go back to sleep. Carlisle also told me not to rush in at the first sound of fussing, or they wont won't learn how to fall back asleep on their own.

When they do not stop crying I do go back to the nursery but I stick to the essentials. Feeding and changing diapers is done in the dark and then it's right back into the crib. Eventually, they will get the idea that nighttime is for sleeping only. I hope

The baby's daytime sleep schedule also also have become more routine now. They take a few naps of about 1 1/2 to 2 hours each day.

The twins hearing and vision are improving. They turn their heads and smile at the sound of me and Paul's voices, and they love listening to all kinds of music.

The twins will still prefer to look at brightly colored toys. I guess sharp contrasts are easier to see. Faces are absolutely fascinating to the I look at Farah and Jai they will stare back into your eyes. They also will also gaze intently at their own reflection in a crib mirror.

It amazes me how they are becoming such little people. They are starting to come out of their shells and start enjoying the world around them more.

I am glad that crying is no longer the twins primary method of communication with the world. In fact, the twins usually do not cry for no more than an hour each day.

Instead of crying, Farah and Jai are starting to communicate in other ways, such as cooing and making vowel sounds (''oh'' and ''ah,'' for example). I like having conversations with them because now they respond. I say things like, ''I'm going to change your diaper now,'' or, ''It's time for lunch!'' They listen to my voice and respond with there own special language.

Both of the twins are so similar but at the same time very both hit there milestones waround the right time but farah usually gets communication skills first and Jai gets motor skills first.


	18. Four months old

**_4 months_ **

I smile at the slightly chubby little girl in front of of the twins weight have doubled.

Farah and Jai are becoming more dexterous and doing more with their hands. Farah shakes the rattle in her hands, Cooing happily. I smile but eye the dangerous little hands cautiously. They grab for anything within reach, including a stuffed animal, any colorful or shiny object hanging nearby, and Farah's favorite, My hair. I cant earrings or necklaces around either one of the twins because as soon as they see it it gets yanked.

Anything they pick up will most likely end up in their mouths. I put all small items that they could choke on on the highest shelf. Now they cant reach it and neither can I.

By now, the twins heads are no longer be wobbly. They actually have pretty good head control while sitting supported, and they can hold their head and chest upright while lying on their stomach during tummy time. They also can kick and push with their feet. Jai has even figured out how to roll from tummy to back at this point.

The twins now, thank god, are sleeping at we all get to enjoy a full nights sleep. They typically sleep seven to eight hours in a row. Add in two naps, and your baby should be sleeping a total of 14 to 16 hours a day. I look at Jai who is snoozing in the play pen.

Jai and Farah's vision has sharpened. The two can pick out more subtle color contrasts, such as the red button on my red shirt. They also can see across the room, although they still prefer looking at people close-up.

Their eyes are starting to change color. The colors are getting lighter and lighter.

I'm not starting the twins on slid foods until they are six months old.

I'm surprised at how such unique individuals the twins have already become. Jai is calm and serene (I dont know who the hell he gets that from) and Farah is loud and obnoxious. (... It runs in her genes). They're also beginning to notice that the people around them respond to their actions. They also have me and Paul wrapped around there fingers. When one of them cries, I come one of them drops something on the floor, Paul picks it up. They actually find delight in dropping the same object over and over and over again, just to watch me and Paul continue to pick it up.

They are actually learning to be effective communicators. They express themselves through coos, vowel sounds such as ooh and aah, squeals, gurgles, and laughter. I've notice that they can use their face to express a wide range of emotions, from a beaming happy smile, to a crunched-up angry face, to open-mouthed surprise. Farah and Jai are also starting to learn how to read emotions from voices and facial expressions.

Carlisle had given me a lot of texture books like pat the bunny. I spend at least a few minutes a day reading and singing to them.

The twins aren't crawling yet but me, Paul, and Dad have all began childproofing . Putting locks on cabinets, snap gates across stairways, and storing any cleaning products or other potentially dangerous materials high up and far away from curious fingers.

* * *

"Still no sign of Bella?" Her and Alice had disappeared yesterday. Dad shakes his head glumly. "I'm sure she's okay." No harm will come to her as long as she's with Alice. I'm sure of that.

Embry paces around the kitchen. He hadn't left dads house since Bella disappeared. They aren't going out, but they might as well be. "you okay Em- OW." I gently pry my hair out of Jai's tiny fist. "Don't pull mommy's hair." I half coo half scold. He giggles and try's for another fistful. I pass him to Dad and pin my hair up. "Ha ha." I tease the little boy and stick my tongue out at him. He responds by sticking his tongue out too.

* * *

Me, Paul, Farah, and Jai stay at Charlies house like we have since Bella disappeared. All five of us ,Embry's here too, Where woken up by dad screaming. "GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER!"Farah and Jai both began crying. I grabbed Jai and Paul picked up Embry. We walked from Bella's room down the stairs. Halfway down Embry growls. When I get to the bottom I see thee retreating body of Edward Cullen. "You will never see that boy again Isabella!" Charlie rants. "Do you understand me? You'll stay away from him!" She refuses to make eye contact with Embry. "I can't do that dad. I love him."


	19. Five months old

**_5 months_ **

"Paul put a pillow behind his back!" I say to him for what seams like the thousandth time today. The twins can sit up for a few seconds at a time but they still need a pillow behind them for support.

"Farah Stella-Alexandra Lahote, Sit still!" She giggles. I just changed he diaper but I can't put the new one on because she decided she wants to roll all over the floor. I put the diaper on her finally and she rolls onto her stomach and begins kicking her legs and rocking. Carlisle says she's getting ready to start crawling. I'm not particularly excited for that. It's hard enough to deal with both of them and it'll only get harder when one of them is able to zoom around the house.

"Ow!" Farah grabs a handful of red hair and yanks. Her grip is stronger, therefor it's harder for me to pull her off. I plaster a fake smile on my face and put her in her bumpy seat. I hand her, her baby food bottle filled with her favorite. Spaghetti. Me and Paul don't understand both know how gross that stuff is. "Watch her." I tell Paul, who nods. Both of the twins can hold there own bottles but have to be monitored so they don't choke.

Jai looks at me from his swing n seat from across the room. His vision is getting better. "Hey." I wave at him and he giggles. I fill his bottle with vegetable beef dinner. I turn off the swing much to his dismay and give him the bottle. His eyes brighten happily but he doesn't put it in his mouth. He never immediately starts eating.

He babbles to me for a minute. He does that a lot now. "Ma Ma" I smile but don't get so excited. He doesn't understand what it just puts consonants together with vowels, he isn't directing it at me. "Yeah, And then what." He enjoys feeling like he's being included in the conversations. " Ga Ba." I smile and nod. "Okay how about we eat now." I take the bottle from him and then give it back. He puts it in his mouth this time.

At five months, both off the tins are starting to make sense of the sounds that thy hear. Though they can't yet understand words, they turn their heads at the sound of their name or a simple command like ''no.''

When they're done Paul cleans the bottles and I turn on love all kinds of music. I sing along. "I got this feeling on a summer day when you where gone.I crashed my car into the bridge. I watched, I let it burn.I threw your ish into a bag and pushed it down the stairs. I crashed my car into the bridge.I don't care, I love it. I don't care. The twins clap and babble as I dance around my living room. Paul laughs too. I lift Jai and bounce around the living room with him her giggles and so does his sister from Paul's arms. There's a flash and we all turn to look at the front door. Bella stands with a camera. "Aw look at the happy family." I laugh. "Shut up dork." I give my sister, a hug before turning off the song.

I sit on the sofa with my knees together and legs bent at a right angle. I seat Jai on my knees facing me with his legs to either side. I place my hands on Jai's waist to steady him and bounce him gently on my knees, saying, "This is the way the lady rides, tri-tree-tree-tree, tri-tree-tree-tree, this is the way the lady rides, tri-tree tri-tree tri-TREE."

On the final "tree,"I part my legs so the small baby dips way down between them, taking care, of course, that he doesn't fall all the way to the floor.

Paul puts on a false surprised face and so does Bella. "What is mommy doing to Jay jay?" He asks Farah. Jai giggles uncontrollably.

Paul does the second verse with Farah."This is the way the gentleman rides, gallop-a-trot, gallop-a-trot, this is the way the gentleman rides, gallop-a-gallop-a-TROT" – accompanied by a firmer bounce and a more pronounced dip –

and then we sing the finall verse together"This is the way the farmer rides, hobbledy-hoy, hobbledy-hoy, this is the way the farmer rides, hobbledy-hobbledy-HOY."

Here, we sway our knees from side to side, rocking the baby's as if they are farmers being carried on a swaybacked nag, and on the final "hoy," we tip the twins sideways off of our knees, catching them in our arms as they dips.

Bella laughs. "You two are really into this parenting thing."


	20. six months old

**_6 months_ **

I cant believe that they're already over half of a year old. I think as I look down at Farah and Jai paying in the play pen together.

They are both sitting up by themselves. They still have to use their hands to get ready,but they can still do it by them selves.

Farah slides on her tummy around the crib slowly.

Farah's eyes where only a little bit lighter hen they where originally but Jai's are now a light green mixed with a bit of grayish color.

I began them on solid foods this month. I began with lucky charms cereal mixed with a little bit of baby formula. As they adjusted to solids,I introduced strained fruits and vegetables one at a time. Carlisle told me to wait a few days each time I try something new to make sure your baby isn't allergic to it. I've already found that neither of the twins can eat citrus fruits. It makes there lips swell.

They both particularly like yogurt and soft bits of cheese.

They smile and laugh at each other, and sometimes carry conversations with each other. I read them stories very night to try and get them to learn English.

The twins are starting to recognize the people and things around them. They also are starting to feel comfortable with the familiar - mommy, daddy, auntie Bella, grandpa, and their favorite Uncle Sammie as well as a few of their favorite toys. I often see the first signs of fear when the twins are with strange people or in new situations.

Oh and good news, I started back at work. Better news I got a new job.I go a job at a day care not to far away. The twins get to go free since I work there so its a plus.**  
**

I work with the two year old's but I sometimes drop by the toddler center un announced to see how they're running when they don't expect a visit. Its really clean and safe throughout the whole daycare, an the twins really like it. There is no obvious safety hazards - such as dangling cords, open outlets, or small toys - and emergency procedures are clearly posted in every room. There is about five workers in each room and only around four children per was a five day background check on me and every other worker. They where intense too. They talked to my teacher, friends, and family. I'm glad daddy kept me out of jail for all of the shit I did before I got pregnant because if he hadn't I would be screwed. The workers even have to take surprise drug tests. Sense i'm just down the hall and all of the procedures the workers go through, Me and Paul are comfortable leaving the twins there.

* * *

I get Farah and Jai dressed at around 6:20 and Paul take us to the daycare center. "Hey AJ." Brittani says. She's in the one year old room too. "Hey B." I clock in after dropping of the twins.

The other two year old helpers are already here. We're the alphabet. A(AJ) B(Brittani) C(CeCe) and D(Dawn). "He." I say putting my stuff down. I pull on my bright neon bromo blue 'A-Team' shirt and pull it over my head.

The kids begin arriving at seven. By seven fifty all of the A-Team is here. A tall Samoan girl, Tamina, arrived first. She has long, curly, black hair and grey eyes. Kaitlyn arrived next. Her smiling face framed by dirty blonde hair. Last to arrive where brothers Chris and Alex. I swear the other instructors where laughing at my face. The two are a bit... trouble making. But regardless they're good kids.

We serve breakfast at eight. They eat their cereal and orange juice and chatter to each other. When breakfast is done it's time for center. "Go ahead to the dramatic play center." I tell the a team as I clean Kaitlyn's orange juice off of the floor.

I walk over to the dramatic play and sit and monitor the children. They play with the make believe store for ten minutes before it's time to clean up and move to blocks.

We're barely in the blocks center before there's drama. Tamina wails and runs to me. "Whats wrong?" I ask. "C- Chris hit me wif a bwock." I sigh. "C-Chris come here." He looks at the floor. He knows better then anyone what's going to happen. With out me telling him he doe the normal routine. "I'm sorry Tamina." HE hugs her and then goes to sit in the corner facing the wall.

I shake my head and watch the other children play. Alex shows no worry for his brother. He just plays with Kaitlyn and Tamina who joins them.

"Okay time for library center." I say after they stack the blocks back up. I turn on the recording of Winnie the pooh. I go and check on Chris while they're listening to the book.

"Chris?" HE turns slowly. "Yes Jay Jay." All of the kids call me Jay Jay. "Why did you hit Tamina with a block?" He shrugs. "I downt know." I sigh. "Are you supposed to hit?" HE shakes his head. "If you want to get out of the corner you need to promise me that you wont hit anymore." HE hugs me and says. "I pwomise." I sigh. "Go read with the rest of the kids." He runs to the reading carpet and I follow.

"Okay." I say shutting off the tape an rewinding it. I walk over and begin the math song.  
"Which little piggy went to market?" I sing. "One." They all yell. "Which little piggy stayed home?" I ask. "Two." They yell. " Which little piggy had roast beef?" I ask. " three!" I smile. "Which little piggy had none?" "Four!" "And what did five say?" I ask, "Wee, Wee, Wee, all the way home."

at the end of the last center it's ten o'clock. "Clean up. Clean up." We sing as the children pick up after them selves. We do a potty break and change the ones who aren't yet potty trained.


	21. seven months old

_**7 months**_

I laugh as I watch the twins. The seven-month-old's are learning to get around, although they don't all do it in the same way. Jai lays on his stomach and lap. scoots while Farah does this weird mix of a crawl and roll. I place a toy six inches from Jai and he scoots forward and grabs it.I clap. "Yay Jai."

The two have gained a lot of independence recently, Now that they can sit up and move around by them selves. They're ability to hold and drink from a cup, and eat from a spoon.

The two can both stand up but can't walk yet.

I've started to see tiny teeth budding in there mouths. They're starting to teeth which makes them grumpy. Farah starts crying so I get a frozen teething toy out of the freezer and hand it to her. She puts it in her mouth and calms down.

"Okay!" I say using my 'happy mommy' voice. "Time to eat." I pick up Jai and put him into the high chair, and then put Farah in hers. " How about... Mashed potatoes." They giggle and bang there fists on their trays. "I love how you agree." As they eat. I feed them even though they have the ability to do so themselves.

When I put them back in the play pen I sit on the couch and lay are starting to understand the meaning of language. Farah throws a toy across the room. "Farah! No!". She just giggles. She barely turned her head at her name.

Jai just watches grinning from ear to ear. He likes when his sister gets scolded even though she doesn't care one way or the other. She just smiles at me and babbles away happily. "Ga ba da." I shake my head. "Uh huh likely story, dont throw any more toys."

I look into the play en. Jai clutches his filthy white wolf teddy bear which Paul rescued from the baby shower. I can't wash it because he gets separation anxiety. He's scream if it's away for just a few minutes, There's no way I can get a full wash cycle in.

Carlisle said he'll grow out of it by about the age of two. I can not take that smell for another year.

The front door opes and in walk Paul, Dad and Bella. "What is that smell?" Paul asks with his nose crinkled. "i don't know! Maybe it's the bear covered in dirt and food stains that YOU gave him." He rolls his eyes at the accusations. " Farah's not addicted to hers." He points out the lack of her white wolf. I point to the blanket also in the play pen. "Maybe because she's addicted to that blanket you gave her. Which by the way is contributing to the smell." Dad chuckles. "This is great. Bell's never get pregnant. Your house will begin smelling like your sisters." I glare at him as well. "Hardy har har. Chris rock everybody."


	22. Eight months old

"No Jai. You have to sit down on the bed. Mommy doesn't want you to fall." I grab the little one and sit him down. He can pull himself up by holding the headboard of the bed. Of course he doesn't care about the mini heart attack that I get everytime he does that.

"Jai Jai sit down alright?" Paul says he sits him down and this time he stays. I give paul a look of amazement. "Either you got it or you don't"

I'm glad Farah is sleeping. She can crawl but cant stand where as her brother can stand but can't crawl. Carlisle says this is normal so i'm not that worried. I pick up Jai and carry him to the playpen, White wolf in tow. He stands holding and chewing on the rail with his teddy at his feet.

I managed to wash the bear during his nap, having to try desperately to make him not notice it was missing. He loves that thing. He's spot it across the room scoot over to it and pick it up. It is the only toy he will play with. While his sister bangs blocks he chews on the paw of the furry animal or tosses it into the air over and over again. I shake my head fondly at the little boy.

I look at the time on the computer. "Alright Jay Jay. Time to go sleepy in your room."I get him and the wolf and travel to his room for the worst time of the day. Bedtime.

It's harder with Jai then it is with Farah.

Even the wolf doesn't help when it's time to go night night. All naps and bedtimes are a struggle. I tuck him into his crib, Put the wolf beside him, Turn off his lamp, Turn on the night light, and kiss his forehead. "Mommy loves you."

Paul kisses his forehead as well."Daddy loves you more then mommy."

We walk out and then the cry's start. HE cry's and it makes my heart pang like it does ever time. I know I can't go in there. I go into Farah's room and check on her. she sucks her pacifier in contentment, Completely oblivious to her brothers cry's.

I sigh and go into my room.

"He'll be okay." Paul says reassuringly sitting down beside me on the bed.

* * *

"Don't throw it." I scold Farah as she tosses cereal around giggling. "Let her have fun." Paul says. "Shut up an eat." the twins ate Bananas and baby cereal and Me and Paul eat banana has a bit of admiration in his eyes as I put the plates down.

"What?" He smiles.

"Nothing. We just make a really cute family."

I smile.

"Lets have more." My smile drops.

"Don't make me neuter you." I threaten.


	23. nine months old

***Correction: there is still four chapters if you count this one.***

**9 month**

"Jai Ryder Lahote! Come back her, Right Now!" The naked little boy giggles as he crawls away quickly. His sister sits in her walker banging the rattle loudly. I gab him and quickly put his new diaper on. I don't put him in his walker. He hates the thing. Both twins are expert crawlers. I stand and walk out of the play room, making sure to shut the baby gate. I always remember to shut the gate, especially since I've lost both of them in one day. Don't judge me. I'm a good mom. They're alive aren't they?

"NO!" I scold Paul. He was grabbing for a pack of oreos. He pouts. "Aww come on AJ. I'm hungry." I roll my eyes. "I change the diapers, You don't eat." I admit it's a bit childish, But my only company most of the time are nine months old. Plus I really hate diapers. But i'm hungry." "Sucks to suck doesn't it." I say taking a slow bite of oreo cookie.

I take the cookies with me as I go back to the play room. Farah 'walks' around happily and Jai hits his wolf with a wooden block. They're both bare foot due to the fact that Carlisle said that the adorable baby shoes should not yet be put on the twins, Which got Alice very upset with has already brought the twins so many shoes that thy wont even be able to wear.

Jai babbles to his twin as she comes near him. It sounds like sentences but no one but the two understand them. Farah responds like a normal conversation, which I guess it is to 've both said their first words around the same time. Much to me and Pauls dismay, Farah's first and only real word was banana. Jai's first word was Mama which I am still rubbing in Pauls face.

The twins are good listeners too. After their conversation I get down to eye level and ask Farah. "Can I have the ball?" She takes a while to comprehend, but she does indeed give me the ball. "Thank you." I say before putting it down. She gives me a look like, _Really bitch. Really_.

I'm able to leave them in the room alone as long as they're together. But when I leave one by themselves the cry's are awful, especially from Jai.

Jai fears being alone while Farah fears certain people. She wont go any where near Emily,Kim, Sue, or Leah. These fears never bothered her is instantly hysteric when near any one unfamiliar or not normally around.

"Jai, Your mama is being mean to me." Paul complains coming into the room. He has been sucking up to Jai since he first said 's eyes light up. "Da ba sa MAMA." I feel like he and paul are plotting my untimely death when he uses mama in a 'sentence'. I eye him and he looks back smiling. His wolf is still clutched in his tight grasp.

Farah raises her arms. "Banana, Banana!" Paul says she does it on purpose. Being that she is my child, He's probably right.


	24. Ten months old

_**10 months**_

I warily eye the little brunette children s they move around the Paul's living room. They're crawling quickly back and forth making me really nervous. Farah holds her rattle in her hands and it makes noise as it hits the floor, making her laugh.I'm just glad they can not walk yet. I'm a wreck and they're only just crawling around right now.

Paul sits down beside me. Seth 'works' in the kitchen. I know he's listening in. "Do you all want some cookies?" Emily asks coming into the room with a smile plastered on her face.

I take two and thank her before she disappears back in to the kitchen. I break one cookie and give the pieces to the twins. THey shove them in there mouths happily. The gooey chocolate surrounds their mouths messily. I wipe there faces before leaning back into seths warmth.

Paul doesn't like me giving them sweets but I do it any way.

"My parents are listening." He whispers loudly in my ear quietly. I roll my eyes. "I know." I smile slightly. I wonder if i'll behave like that when Jai and Farah start dating. Well I have forty five years before I have to worry about that so...

"MOM AND DAD I THINK IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO LEAVE."

"Well fun."

Sam leans down to her ear. "I know we will."

Gross. Before they leave they turn to me and Paul. "Be good. Make good choices." Sam decides that adding his two cents is important. "Yeah, Two children is enough." I roll my eyes.

"Goodbye." Me and Paul say together. "Make good choices." I mock. "Seven pups is enough." Seth says. "Be home by midnight or you're both grounded. I comment while opening the twins vitamins. I put one in each of there mouths and they suck on the dissolving sweet vitamins.

"Bannana!" Farah says holding up her arms. "What's up munchkin?" paul asks lifting the toddler and tickling her stomach. She giggles and I scoop up jawi after snapping a picture of the two. I love them so freaking much. All three of them.


	25. eleven months old

_**11 months**_

I hold the twins hands as we walk into Sam and Emily's place. They stumble slightly but smile can walk while holding on to my hand or table tops and things like that. Theyb can even take a few steps on their we cross the thresh hold Jai lets go of my hand and takes experimental steps by him takes a couple before falling on his butt. Instead of crying, He behaves like the boss that he is and stands back up grabbing my hand again. Thats my boy. smile down at the adorable toddler.

"Daddy!" Farah squeals happily when she see's Paul. She claps her hand excitedly. She saw Paul this morning but she still is happy he's grins and lifts her off the ground.

"HEy princess." He says to he holding her in his arms. I laugh and JAi crawls over and sits beside Kim's chair. He doesn't want to be picked up. He just likes sitting near smiles down at him as he chews on his rattle before returning to her homework

"Hey gir-" Sam starts but I cut him off.

"NO JAi dont do that." I take him off of the chair that he's twins think climbing is fun. I think it's scary as hell. They'll scale counters, get over their crib railing, and put themselves into some pretty precarious situations. LIke last week when Farah climbed out of th crib and almost hit the floor in what would have been a tragic spill.

"Hungie" JAi says into my ear when I lift him up.

"You're hungry?" I sit him in his bumpy and put sliced orange in front of him on his portable table. I give Farah's oranges to Paul before sitting behind him.

"Hey baby."

"NO!" I hear Farah scream when I turn around. Crap. I momentarily forgot that Farah does not like oranges. SHe kicks and screams until I give her a different bowl filled with apple slices instead.

She still pouts her face. "Eat!" I say to her.

"No!" She says even after she puts the apple piece in her mouth.

"Stubborn." I mutter.

"Where does she get that from?" Sam questions raising her eyebrow. "Her dad." I accuse quickly. PAul rolls her eyes. "I'm not stubborn." I snort. "Whatever. You define stubborn."

"Are you two being stubborn about being stubborn?" Jared asks with a raised eyebrow. "SHUT UP!" We both yell at him. HE raises his hands in surrender.


	26. All my love

_**1 year **_

I watch Jai and Farah toddle around the living room, occasionally falling. Both of there first real steps where captured on camera.

The almost one year olds are pretty good at doing things on their own. They can help me and Paul and I dress them, They can turn the pages on their story books, and have become proficient at feeding them selves. Farah and Jai are also starting to use a few everyday items correctly, including a spoon, telephone, and hairbrush. Although their aim with these things might not be perfect, They have the right intentions in mind.

I yawn. Man I miss their morning naps. They still nap in the afternoon, BUt the morning nap is a thing in the distant past.

They can drink milk from a cow now which I'm happy about, Because formula is expensive as shit. To Carlisles orders I started them with Whole milk. They won't be able to have low fat milk for another year almost.

Me and Paul cut up fruit for their afternoon snack. "Did you check the reservations?" The twins birthday is in three days. I can't believe they're a year old already. "Yep." He answers. "yup, checked them this morning." Me, Paul, The twins, Bella, and Dad are going to the zoo.

"Uh - Oh mama." Farah says from the other room. I look through the open area and see my lipstick all over the TV screen. I force a smile. "Farah?" I spit out in a sickly sweet voice trying not to get upset with her. "Yes." She says back giving me the face of innocence. "Are you supposed to mess with mommy's things?" I ask. "No." SHe says like it's no big deal. I roll my yes. I blame PAul. He treats her like a princes so she does whatever she wants. HE wont even let me give her a time out. I turn her so that she's looking at me. "You do not mess with mommy's things and you know that. You will not be getting a sweet after dinner." She throws herself on the floor. She doesn't cy. She just stretches out and pounds her fist and screams for attention.

She knows that when she does this Paul will give in and console her. I shoot him a look. "Stay." I say sternly. He hates it when I talk to him like a dog. He ignores me. I can see him struggling to not pick her up. Finally he breaks. "No!" I say as he bounds across the floor. He picks her up. "It's okay princess. Lets go get you a lolipop." After he's gone I look at Jai. He looks sad. Paul always leaves him. When I was pregnant we had joked and said that after we had a baby we would have the opposite gender. A boy for me a girl for PAul.

I lift jai off the floor. "Come on Jai Jai. Lets go get some ice cream."

I put on his little rain boots and the matching jacket. I put him in the car that mom and dad got me for my seventeenth birth day. I buckle him in and check the buckle. He seems happier but still sad as we pull out of the drive way. The absence of pauls car causes my heart to pang.

"I love you Jai Ryder Lahote." I say to my beautiful baby boy. "I wuv moma."

* * *

The 'Party' is winnie the pooh themed. A man in a winnie suit helps the kids open presents while I snap pictures. They each get a mini cake and are able to dig in. I smile sadly. I have fucking one year olds. 'We looked at the animals and got to pet a couple. I love them so much.

I have fucking one year olds.

* * *

**three months later.**

**third person**

AJ stands second in line behind Angela in her graduation cap and gown. The graduation march begins playing. "Angela Weber." The school principal reads clearly into the microphone. Angela walks across the stage, gets her diploma from him, shakes his hand and walks to get her picture taken. "Annabella Swan." AJ cringes at her first name. She walks across the stage focusing on not falling flat on her fce. Her friends family and children cheer happily. She shakes her head. Paul and dad are both yelling loudly. She smiles as she grabs her diploma. "Congradulations." Principal Walling mutters as he shakes her hand. She walks off of the stage and is given a purple flower. SHe smiles and poses with the two items in her hand.

* * *

Later she sat and listened intently to Jessica's graduation speech. "When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up, Our answers were things like astronaut, president, or in my case, a princess." AJ had wanted to be minnie mouse. She was an odd child. "when we were ten, they asked again, and we answered, rock star, cowboy, or in my case, a gold medalist." AJ wanted to be a pop country singer. " But now that we've grown up, they want a serious answer. Well, how about this: 'who the hell knows?' . This isn't the time to make hard and fast decisions, this is the time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere. Fall in love, a lot. Major in philosophy, because there's no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind and change it again, because nothing is permanent. So, make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask what we wanna be, we won't have to guess. We'll know"

I nod and clap with the rest of our class. I have no idea where the future is going to take me. BUt whatever I do, I'm going to give it all my heart, All my soul, and all my love.

* * *

I love you guys. Bye

3


End file.
